Yes, I'm still here.
I've been asked a few times if I am in California yet, but no, I plan on being here till August. Maybe longer! Things tend to change day to day...even Tenaya is looking at moving to Santa Barbara to attend culinary school (which would be way cool!). I imagine a lot of you are feeling the crazy spin in the world right now. I've just decided to ride it out, day to day.
Work on the book is slow...I thought I'd thrive on the iscolation, but instead, I find myself feel cabin-feverish. So, lots of dog walks. Of course, today, we are watching for snow, so it's pretty cold outside (yet as I write this Buttercup is looking longingly out the window). I have also decided to go back to doing some temp work. I think getting out amongst the living will help inspire me more creatively as well as being able to have conversations with humans. Buttercup is a good listener, but not much on giving feedback other than the "my-human-is-crazy" look.
I'm getting used to the air mattress. My room is still pink. My aunts are crazy. My neighbors are chatty. The sky is up... It's pathetic, but that's all I have to say!
But I am Here and still alive and kicking...and maybe my next post will be more interesting!!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Humans and Guns just don't mix
Really. and I'll explain why, but first, let me paint the picture.
I am living in a good sized apartment complex (that sports at least 7 different floor plans. I kid you not - and I have yet to speak to anyone hear who knows for sure just how many there really are!) The bulk of the apartments are in a large, 2 story u-shaped building. Behind the U-shape is a smaller L-shape which houses, in the deepest corner, my little efficiency.
I happen to have a killer panoramic view of the mountains from my large picture window. However, directly beneath said window is the parking lot to a popular hotel. which is why you will see in the photo of my room a curtain rod half way up, covered in fabric to block that particular view. Which is just fine. the window ledge is low, so Buttercup can rest her chin on it while she stares at people walking around the lot or around the hillside to our left.
So...Friday night. I am happily ensconced in my new bean bag chair (in pink, of course) reading and contemplating when I should take the dog out for her last pee break for the evening...and I hear what sounds like 2 dogs fighting in the parking lot. It was hard to get a clear picture of what was going on because Buttercup was set off by the commotion and was barking her thoughts on the situation. But I could very clearly hear a woman screaming hysterically and a very angry man shouting as well. I believe there was at least one more man, but it was hard to tell what was going on as they were mostly just out of eyesight. The next thing I know is that the dog noise is over but Hysterical Woman is still screaming and Angry Man is now shouting "I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna kill him!".
Then there was a gunshot. I don't believe anyone was actually shot because Hysterical Woman was now only shouting "you're gonna get arrested! You're gonna get arrested!" Angry Man is a little calmer now when he says "I won't kill him..." but there is still a lot of shouting. (I'm hoping the dogs were hiding in the trucks, cuz these guys were crazy). In less than 5 minutes 2 cop cars pull into the hotel entrance, killing their lights and sirens. As they wrestle with Angry Man and shout "drop the gun!Drop the gun!", SEVEN more cars drive up and attend to the situation. I gotta give them credit, they take gunfire seriously here and they acted fast. Of course, now Angry Man is Scaredy Man cuz he's yelling "don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!"
What is the point of having a gun? To scare a dog, piss off the neighbors and get arrested? Sure seems to confirm once again that humans are not evolved enough to take on the responsibility of owning firearms.
I wonder if I can get bullet-proof glass installed in my window?
***
On the bright side, weather has been an amazing experience. We haven't had the snowfall that Ashland, OR has had (darn it) but what we have had has been fascinating. Big fat flakes one moment, sunshine the next. Same days as the Hysterical Woman and Angry Man story, the snow would vary from gentle flakes to a full-on flurry, obliterating the mountains. The ground was coated and I thought, well, looks like it will be white for a while...but 45 minutes later, the snow has stopped and the ground snow is almost completely melted. Then beautiful swirly clouds lay amongst the mountain bases with thunderheads above and an hour later, there is sun breaking through.
I remember Mom describing how fast the weather changes here, but I guess I thought she was exaggerating because this has been a real surprise to me. And the light! Man o man! The light is impressive. Just before sunset, trees seem to glow. Guess my words aren't going to really paint the picture well, so I'll just leave it that I am obsessing with what my window has to offer me on a daily basis. And don't get me started on that magnificent moon that hugged the mountains last Tuesday! *sigh* It's pretty pretty. Can't wait to experience spring now since I am told that it is really beautiful and I am beginning to see that the locals aren't exaggerating.
I am living in a good sized apartment complex (that sports at least 7 different floor plans. I kid you not - and I have yet to speak to anyone hear who knows for sure just how many there really are!) The bulk of the apartments are in a large, 2 story u-shaped building. Behind the U-shape is a smaller L-shape which houses, in the deepest corner, my little efficiency.
I happen to have a killer panoramic view of the mountains from my large picture window. However, directly beneath said window is the parking lot to a popular hotel. which is why you will see in the photo of my room a curtain rod half way up, covered in fabric to block that particular view. Which is just fine. the window ledge is low, so Buttercup can rest her chin on it while she stares at people walking around the lot or around the hillside to our left.
So...Friday night. I am happily ensconced in my new bean bag chair (in pink, of course) reading and contemplating when I should take the dog out for her last pee break for the evening...and I hear what sounds like 2 dogs fighting in the parking lot. It was hard to get a clear picture of what was going on because Buttercup was set off by the commotion and was barking her thoughts on the situation. But I could very clearly hear a woman screaming hysterically and a very angry man shouting as well. I believe there was at least one more man, but it was hard to tell what was going on as they were mostly just out of eyesight. The next thing I know is that the dog noise is over but Hysterical Woman is still screaming and Angry Man is now shouting "I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna kill him!".
Then there was a gunshot. I don't believe anyone was actually shot because Hysterical Woman was now only shouting "you're gonna get arrested! You're gonna get arrested!" Angry Man is a little calmer now when he says "I won't kill him..." but there is still a lot of shouting. (I'm hoping the dogs were hiding in the trucks, cuz these guys were crazy). In less than 5 minutes 2 cop cars pull into the hotel entrance, killing their lights and sirens. As they wrestle with Angry Man and shout "drop the gun!Drop the gun!", SEVEN more cars drive up and attend to the situation. I gotta give them credit, they take gunfire seriously here and they acted fast. Of course, now Angry Man is Scaredy Man cuz he's yelling "don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!"
What is the point of having a gun? To scare a dog, piss off the neighbors and get arrested? Sure seems to confirm once again that humans are not evolved enough to take on the responsibility of owning firearms.
I wonder if I can get bullet-proof glass installed in my window?
***
On the bright side, weather has been an amazing experience. We haven't had the snowfall that Ashland, OR has had (darn it) but what we have had has been fascinating. Big fat flakes one moment, sunshine the next. Same days as the Hysterical Woman and Angry Man story, the snow would vary from gentle flakes to a full-on flurry, obliterating the mountains. The ground was coated and I thought, well, looks like it will be white for a while...but 45 minutes later, the snow has stopped and the ground snow is almost completely melted. Then beautiful swirly clouds lay amongst the mountain bases with thunderheads above and an hour later, there is sun breaking through.
I remember Mom describing how fast the weather changes here, but I guess I thought she was exaggerating because this has been a real surprise to me. And the light! Man o man! The light is impressive. Just before sunset, trees seem to glow. Guess my words aren't going to really paint the picture well, so I'll just leave it that I am obsessing with what my window has to offer me on a daily basis. And don't get me started on that magnificent moon that hugged the mountains last Tuesday! *sigh* It's pretty pretty. Can't wait to experience spring now since I am told that it is really beautiful and I am beginning to see that the locals aren't exaggerating.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Bed Wishes
I was going to title this "Bedded Bliss" but I thought you would think that I got lucky...
Mom was gone for a week (in Miami for school) so I got to sleep in her bed. Ahhhh! A real bed! she even has one of those temperpetic mattresses - very comfy. But now I am back to my air mattress. I'm telling you friends, hug your mattress!(if that is possible) - you have no idea how lucky you are!!! One of my aunts loaned me the mattress from her trundle bed to put under my mattress and that certainly helps make it easier to get out of bed in the morning (I'm not 18 anymore...) but it still isn't a real bed. Think I'm obsessing?? Try sleeping on a twin-sized air mattress for a couple of months and get back to me.
***
I have been gone from Oregon a month and a half now (and I still miss it) and it has been interesting to be un-everything! first, it was just weird to be living with my mom and not have a home of my own. Oh, Mom and I get along great and we are even going through some withdrawals being apart now (but we both need the space - we will talk, eat and shop forever if not forced to separate!). But it is a strange sensation to be - ahem - 51 and living with mommy. Then I was facing renting a room from a young mom and her little girl. that seemed like a fine idea until the time got closer, then the reality began to set in that I would be living under someone else's terms, on their turf. No biggy if you are a college student, but a major adjustment when you have been the Boss of Your Own Space for many years. Good thing it all fell through...
There was a point in my spiritual journey that I seriously sat with the question"what are you willing to sacrifice for God?". Once I got clear with what I was really being asked, I offered myself up and said "if you ask me to live in just a room with a bed, dresser and a chair I will do it as long as I can also have a vase of flowers". Well, I look around my room and realize that I am not far from that! I don't have a dresser but there is a desk (on it's way) and a small table and chairs...and a vase of flowers. So, be careful what you offer!!!!! But truthfully, I find the simplicity of living like this liberating. Sure, it would be nice to have a sofa to chill on, but there is such lightness and clarity in this space.
And it is a very pink space! I decided that I needed an environment that would support a lot of creativity and the color pink kept showing up. So I have pink fabric draped over my bed and windows and it's pretty cool! It's my first truly girly room. Pretty funny when the maintenance crew comes over to fix things though...they just stand there and say 'this is really pink!" (even though I forewarned them).
Then there are the questions that I have trouble answering. People will ask me where I am from...do I say Oregon, even though I wasn't even there 2 years or do I say California, which I have detached from? And when you answer that question, and add that you are only staying in the current state for a limited time, it is often with the understanding that you will go back "home". But where is home for me? I know I will spend several months in California to be with Tenaya (God, I miss that girl!) but after that...??? I am not particularly attached to California anymore...I like New Mexico all right, but I am not feeling any love for it...Oregon is pretty wonderful, but if there is no work, that doesn't bode well...so where am I going? It is weird to realize that I can't answer the question "where is home?".I don't know and that is an odd feeling. Yet, at the same time, it's kinda exciting! I'm living a mystery!
So this journey is a lot about faith, trust, patience, curiosity, creativity and reinvention.
...and bed wishes.
Mom was gone for a week (in Miami for school) so I got to sleep in her bed. Ahhhh! A real bed! she even has one of those temperpetic mattresses - very comfy. But now I am back to my air mattress. I'm telling you friends, hug your mattress!(if that is possible) - you have no idea how lucky you are!!! One of my aunts loaned me the mattress from her trundle bed to put under my mattress and that certainly helps make it easier to get out of bed in the morning (I'm not 18 anymore...) but it still isn't a real bed. Think I'm obsessing?? Try sleeping on a twin-sized air mattress for a couple of months and get back to me.
***
I have been gone from Oregon a month and a half now (and I still miss it) and it has been interesting to be un-everything! first, it was just weird to be living with my mom and not have a home of my own. Oh, Mom and I get along great and we are even going through some withdrawals being apart now (but we both need the space - we will talk, eat and shop forever if not forced to separate!). But it is a strange sensation to be - ahem - 51 and living with mommy. Then I was facing renting a room from a young mom and her little girl. that seemed like a fine idea until the time got closer, then the reality began to set in that I would be living under someone else's terms, on their turf. No biggy if you are a college student, but a major adjustment when you have been the Boss of Your Own Space for many years. Good thing it all fell through...
There was a point in my spiritual journey that I seriously sat with the question"what are you willing to sacrifice for God?". Once I got clear with what I was really being asked, I offered myself up and said "if you ask me to live in just a room with a bed, dresser and a chair I will do it as long as I can also have a vase of flowers". Well, I look around my room and realize that I am not far from that! I don't have a dresser but there is a desk (on it's way) and a small table and chairs...and a vase of flowers. So, be careful what you offer!!!!! But truthfully, I find the simplicity of living like this liberating. Sure, it would be nice to have a sofa to chill on, but there is such lightness and clarity in this space.
And it is a very pink space! I decided that I needed an environment that would support a lot of creativity and the color pink kept showing up. So I have pink fabric draped over my bed and windows and it's pretty cool! It's my first truly girly room. Pretty funny when the maintenance crew comes over to fix things though...they just stand there and say 'this is really pink!" (even though I forewarned them).
Then there are the questions that I have trouble answering. People will ask me where I am from...do I say Oregon, even though I wasn't even there 2 years or do I say California, which I have detached from? And when you answer that question, and add that you are only staying in the current state for a limited time, it is often with the understanding that you will go back "home". But where is home for me? I know I will spend several months in California to be with Tenaya (God, I miss that girl!) but after that...??? I am not particularly attached to California anymore...I like New Mexico all right, but I am not feeling any love for it...Oregon is pretty wonderful, but if there is no work, that doesn't bode well...so where am I going? It is weird to realize that I can't answer the question "where is home?".I don't know and that is an odd feeling. Yet, at the same time, it's kinda exciting! I'm living a mystery!
So this journey is a lot about faith, trust, patience, curiosity, creativity and reinvention.
...and bed wishes.
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